Do you remember the games and excuses we as kids and teenagers played with our parents? The excuses that ran on and on and on and on until you got your way. The hiding behind a tree or vehicle because you think they won't see you. It's too bad we have to grow up to deal with the seriousness of adulthood. Just think, how much more fun and easier it would be to grow up in the eyes of a child?

I was always told what you did as a kid came back 3-fold as you yourself became a parent. I always keep that in mind while parenting my kids because the last thing I want is to have what I did as a kid to come back to haunt me. Really, when you think back you don't know whether to think your parents didn't have a clue in knowing what they were doing by believing your every word and putting so much faith in you. Or did they? You turned out ok so why not follow their lead? The problem is, although I believe the basic parental rules still apply, even the ones dated way back when, it is a different era and we've been spoiled. Kids now are fortunate to be blessed with both parents working and with more income comes more technology and with all the major distractions by whats new and exciting inside who needs all the information we used to learn at school and the fresh air it gave us (I say this sarcastically). That's what all of the "good times" have taught us. Today it is much easier for kids to skip school, do drugs, drink, just go home and play video games or whatever because no one is at home. I have a 12-year-old I'm anticipating this from within the next year or so. But for now I think I'm fortunate enough to be able to stay at home. I also have a 9 year old who just tried to play hide and seek with me. LOL. They don't realize these games are older than I am and I played them too. I dropped them off at school which I don't normally do but it was raining and I felt like being nice. Anyway, I let them out and started to pull away to notice he was taking his sweet time getting in the school. He kept watching to see if I was gone and waited for me to be out of site. I noticed, and I did move out of his sight but I came back. Very easy to see guilt all over him. Needless to say, he turned and headed for inside the school but not before I had a few words for him.

I sit here and shake my head. I can't even be mad. I'm just amazed and in this case I'm looking at the influence of other kids and the fact that I have to make sure my 9 year old gets into school as opposed to going behind the school with 2 other boys to get into who knows how much trouble. We'll definitely be speaking again. He is capable of making right and wrong decisions regardless. Gee, wasn't it highschool before we pulled those stunts?

I can honestly say I don't have as much faith in my kids as my parents did in me. I really really wish I did but with what is going on out there today, I 'm terrified to give them the same freedom I had. It's like every corner I turn with them I've got society telling me I'm wrong and the kids are right. I don't believe they should have as much as I did.

I'm told your freedom frames you as a person as well as all the other billion things. If you don't have it how do you prepare for certain situations. I understand that and my kids do get some degree of freedom as I see fit. Otherwise its' a test. Who's going to be the first one pregnant or in jail for stealing. With so many kids going missing, if you don't know where your kid is, there's a good possibility your setting them up to be one. Drugs: we don't have just cigarettes and weed to worry about any more. So many other things and starting at such young ages. I did. I started smoking at 11 and ate choke cherries and blueberries to get the smell off me. I don't know how I didn't get caught. I ended up confessing at 18 that I smoked and had done drugs. That doesn't mean every other kid did but there were certainly influences from the older kids. I lied, I drank before the legal age. I was definitely irresponsible in that way but responsible in other ways. I did manage to avoid the really big troubles. The only time the cops were at my parents door was for boyfriend issues and my parents called them on me. LOL. I soooooo don't want to do that to any of my kids.

So needless to say, I do have my own reasons for wanting to keep them at arms length for awhile. I'm experiencing with my oldest now that it is very tiring and very easy to just say "go ahead" to what she's asking. I keep telling her she should be a lawyer instead of veternarian. It's so hard raising kids. It's also one of many things everyone has there own way of doing. Right now I've got my eyes in the back of my head wide open and watching for any signs of what I did as a kid. I had to laugh today because my son today couldn't understand how I knew to come back. I also do something my parents didn't do. I talk to my kids about everything under the sun. I try my hardest to let them know it's ok to come to me with stuff and if all else fails hopefully the lines of communication will remain open. We do things as a family too which I think is necessary. It's not done as much as I'd like but it is done to teach them the value of having family even though you don't like it. There are times we can have fun and have a laugh, especially with the innocence of a 2 year-old around. In that manner we are very lucky to be able to still get at that level to play with her; all of us. Hopefully she doesn't learn the tricks to soon.

I don't believe I' m a perfect parent by far but I do pray they don't try to do drugs, or have sex early, or try to steal anything. I pray for nothing but the best for them and I think I need to watch for these signals and anything else that doesnt' seem right very closely. I also think that by having experienced these things and more to some degree or another ,whether it be myself or by a friend ,does make me take a closer look. They are at a very critical, influential age. Hopefully I don't traumatize them to badly.

Bella